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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
| Thursday, December 10th, 2009 | ||
| notalwaysright | 8:44a | The Devil Is In The Retailers (Retail | Ohio, USA) Me: “Good morning, ma’am. What can I help you with today?” Customer: “Do you have this product here?” *points to a video game in our ad* Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Just take that aisle down here and turn right. Near the doors are the video games.” Customer: “Oh, alright! Thank you.” (Shortly after, I get a call about TVs so head towards that section. After helping another guest out, the first guest shows up.) Me: “Hello again, ma’am! Want me to show you where that game is you were looking for?” Customer: “How did you do that?” Me: “Do what, ma’am?” Customer: “How did you appear like that? Magic?” Me: “No, ma’am. I just–” Customer: “It’s magic! You kids and your devil ways!” Me: “I promise it’s not magic, ma’am. I just took a shortcut.” Customer: “Through h***! Demon!” *storms out* |
| notalwaysright | 8:44a | Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought (Ice Cream Shop | Tasmania, Australia) (Note: I am standing under a sign that says ‘Gluten-Free Mousse’) Customer: “Is the gluten-free mousse gluten free?” Me: “You mean the ‘gluten-free mousse’?” Customer: “Yeah. Is it gluten free?” Me: “Yes.” Customer: “Are you sure? How do you know?” Me: “Because the sign says it’s gluten-free.” Customer: “Oh, okay then. I’ll just have a bottle of water.” Me: “No mousse?” Customer: “No, you can never be too sure about what has gluten in it!” |
| notalwaysright | 5:13a | Takes One To Snow One (Coffee Shop | USA) Customer: “My goodness, this line is crazy! I’ve been in line ten minutes already! Why aren’t there more employees assisting us? Who is the manager here?” Me: “Sir, I apologize for the delay. Due to the snow, I’ve had multiple employees call in saying they are unable to safely come to work this morning.” Customer: “Well, that is just ridiculous! So an employee can decide that they don’t have to show up for work?” Me: “If an employee feels they cannot safely report to work during severe weather conditions, we ask that they make their personal safety their primary concern.” Customer: “Must be nice! You can just call and pretend to be concerned for your personal safety and then just take the day off? Makes you wonder what you people would do if you ever got a real job! It’s a good thing this isn’t making me late for my job today.” (I seize on the opportunity and try to change the subject.) Me: “Yes, I notice you’re in rather later than normal this morning. Are you on vacation?” Customer: “No! I have the day off! My office is closed!” Me: “Oh, how nice! Any particular reason you are closed today?” Customer: “Duh, the snow! Maybe you’ve noticed it? Are you blind or just stupid?!” |
| notalwaysright | 4:43a | Why Contracts Are A Gazillion Pages Long, Part 2 (Retail | Melbourne, Australia) Customer: “My phone is broken, but it’s only two months old. I need a replacement.” Me: “If your phone is less than 3 months old, I can give you a replacement today. Just let me have a look at it.” Customer: “Why do you need to see it? It doesn’t work, and I was told if it broke within 3 months I get a new phone straight away.” Me: “That’s right, but there are conditions, one being that the phone can’t have any liquid or physical damage. I need to check for that.” Customer: “Fine, here.” (When I open up the phone, it stinks of alcohol.) Me: “Sorry, this smells like it has alcohol on it.” Customer: “Oh, well, I dropped it in the sink and I know you won’t fix it if it has water damage, but I didn’t have any ethylated spirits, so I soaked it in vodka for 2 days to dry it out.” Me: “You’ve just ruined your phone, and now I can’t give you another one.” Customer: “What?! This is ridiculous! You should be more specific when you sell phones! You need to tell people that they can’t soak it in vodka!” |
| Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 | ||
| why_yer_fat | 12:11p | Deviled Corndogs
Corndog hotdogs pureed with cheese, mayonnaise...  Deviled Corndogs Corndog hotdogs pureed with cheese, mayonnaise and tater tots, then re-baked inside a corndog shell. (Submitted by Firebus) |
| notalwaysright | 7:08a | Let’s Not Make Her A Real Angel (Pool | Philadelphia, PA, USA) (A very small child of about 4 walks up to the slide at our pool.) Me: “I am so sorry sweetie, but you are a bit too small to go down the slide. Maybe next time!” (The child leaves in hysterics, only to bring back her mother.) Mother: “Why did you not let my angel go down the slide?” Me: “She is under 4 feet tall.” Mother: “Yes, I know. She’s an absolute angel.” Me: “Our policy clearly states that we cannot let a child under 4 feet tall ride the slide. She could get seriously injured or possibly drown when she reaches the bottom.” Mother: “Yes, I know, cute as a button!” Me: “My manager can further explain this to you, but I can’t risk her safety.” Mother: “But she is my angel!” Me: “She’s also under 4 feet tall. She could die, ma’am.” Mother: “Well its not like she can help it! How dare you make my angel feel bad about her height!” |
| notalwaysright | 6:38a | Questionable Intelligence (Hotel | Alabama, USA) Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [hotel]. How may I help you?” Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what room is beside 106?” Me: “Um…room 107?” Customer: “That’s the one! Thanks so much!” *hangs up* |
| notalwaysright | 5:08a | Over(bear)ing Demand (Toy Store | Louisville, KY, USA) (A customer in his late 20s walks into the store looking confused.) Me: “Can I help you find anything today?” Customer: “My niece is asking for something. I don’t know if it exists or not, but she asked for a rainbow colored bear that smells like fruit.” Me: “Actually, sir, I know exactly what you are talking about.” (I lead him to the girls section where there is a new toy bear in stock. It’s multicolored and is scented like bubble gum.) Me: “Here you go, sir!” Customer: “Oh, is this all you have?” Me: “Well, there are other bears but this is the only scented one.” Customer: “I’m just not sure this is it.” Me: “I can assure you sir, this is the only rainbow colored and fruit scented bear toy in the entire store.” |
| notalwaysright | 4:38a | Bagging A Deal (Music Store | Vancouver, Canada) Me: “Hello. Just so you know you with your purchase you can get any of these movies for $5.99, you save–” Customer: “No! You know what? I am sick and tired of you people offering me things. I can’t come to the d*** mall without getting offered a deal. If I want something I will tell you, and you will give it to me. Understand?” Me: “I’m sorry. Here’s your purchase.” Customer: “Aren’t you going to offer me a bag?” |
| joy_of_tech | 12:00a | JoT 1329: Zoltar answers, eventually.
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| Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 | ||
| why_yer_fat | 12:02p | Oreo S’more
(Submitted by Carolyn)  Oreo S’more (Submitted by Carolyn) |
| notalwaysright | 7:57a | Some Years Are More Golden Than Others (Restaurant | New Mexico, USA) (Note: I work at a restaurant where I have to wear an extremely conservative uniform with minimal makeup and jewelry. I’m serving two elderly ladies.) Me: “Hey guys, how are y’all doing today? What can I get for you to drink?” Customer #1: “Coffee.” Customer #2: “Me too, please.” Me: “Okay, I’ll have that right out for you.” Customer #1 to #2: “Doesn’t she look like a gold digger?” Customer #2: “I was thinking the same thing!” *to me* “Honey, are you a gold digger?” Me: “Um, no, ma’am. I am just a waitress.” Customer #1: “Well, come on now dear. It’s obvious that you’re a gold digger.” Customer #2: “It’s nothing to be ashamed of! Be proud! In all my years of living, I’ve learned it’s the best thing to do–be a gold digger!” Me: “What?” Customer #2: “It’s okay to be a gold digger, honey. I’m sure you’re a very good one! You look like you’d be great at it.” Customer #1: “Yes! Well, I’m glad we know that you’re a gold digger now. I’m proud of you. I’d like cream with my coffee.” Me: “O…Okay, I’ll have that right out…” |
| notalwaysright | 6:27a | When Free Advice Gets Expensive (Retail | Vernon, BC, Canada) (A customer approaches me with a new Blu-ray movie.) Me: “Ah. Blu-ray is a great choice, it looks amazing.” Customer: “Great! I’m so excited to watch my first Blu-ray. We just setup the PVR this morning.” Me: “PVR?” Customer: “Yeah our PVR machine to watch Blu-rays.” Me: “I’m hate to say this, but PVR’s don’t play Blu-rays. They record live television.” Customer: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but they play Blu-rays as well!” Me: “I am sorry, but they don’t. If you buy this, open up the movie and then figure out that your machine won’t play it then I can’t give you a refund. I can’t do refunds on new products that are opened.” Customer: “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot, and don’t threaten me! I know this plays Blu-rays! My friend Steve told it does, and he used to work for a major retailer.” Me: “Okay, I will. Just to ask, where is the disc tray on your PVR?” Customer: *thinks* “You know, on second thought, Steve also got fired for fraud.” |
| notalwaysright | 5:57a | Flipping Out (Cable Company | Georgia, USA) Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. How may I help you?” Caller: “We just moved my grandmother’s TV and I think the cable has been disconnected at the outlet where we moved it. Could you send someone to reconnect it?” (Suddenly, the grandmother grabs the phone.) Caller’s grandmother: *yelling* “That is not what happened! The cable has been hooked to that outlet since the 70’s! You people just need to flip the little switch and turn it back on!” (The grandson gets back on the phone.) Caller: “I am so sorry. Please ignore her. I just need to set up an appointment for the technician to come out.” Me: “No problem. My grandmother can be like that too. I can have someone out on Tuesday.” Caller’s grandmother: *yelling in the background* “You are not listening! All they have to do is flip the switch! Don’t let them lie to you!” Caller: “Grams, when you moved the TV back in the ’80’s you had the cable disconnected from this outlet and reconnected at the other end.” Caller’s grandmother: “Now you’re lying! I’m going to make sure that I’m not here when they come out. This is ridiculous! Tell them not to come!” Me: “Tell her that our switch is broken here and we have to manually come out and flip it in her home. We’ll be there Tuesday.” (The grandson relays this information.) Caller’s grandmother: “Oh, okay then. I’ll see them Tuesday.” Caller, to me: “Bless you.” |
| notalwaysright | 4:27a | So She Thinks She Can Dance (Movie Theater | Washington, USA) (A little old lady approaches me and a new employee while we’re standing in the movie theater lobby.) Customer: *dances* Me: “That’s nice, ma’am.” Customer: *continues dancing* Me: “Um…I don’t know how to respond to that.” Customer: *continues dancing* Me: “I’m sorry, I really don’t know how to respond.” Customer: “You could say ‘You’re a great dancer!’” *walks toward the New guy: “Does that happen often?” Me: “No. Believe it or not, that’s actually a new one.” |
| Monday, December 7th, 2009 | ||
| whedonupdates | 9:21p | |
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darlas_mom |
12:45p | Holidays! I love my snowflakes! Thanks, you guys! They are pretty and wintery and make me feel snuggled. Love you all. :-) Okay, I've been thinking about making this for, like, two weeks, it's about time that I knuckled down and actually, y'know, did it. First things first: holiday cards! If you'd like to receive a holiday card in the mail from me, leave a comment to this entry with an address where I can send you one. (No worries, comments are screened.) Second: wishlist. I always feel slightly awkward posting these things, because it seems like I'm demanding gifts, but...every single year, on my birthday and other gift-giving occasions, people (especially people I'm related to, most especially my mom) always go, "You're really hard to shop for!" I'm not sure why I seem hard to shop for, since, as my brothers will tell you, I tend to point out things I want when we're standing around in stores, and as you guys may have noticed, I post random links to things that make me go, "OOH! WANT!" on LJ all throughout the year. But I still hear this at least once a year without fail, so here. A LIST! ( Things what darlas_mom would like for this holiday season ) Third: If you guys have wishlists of your own, please link me to them or e-mail them to me or something. I'd really like to return the favor. Fourth: I'd like to put out a big pimpin' notice for ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} wiccanslyr's Virtual Gift Exchange 2009, which is "an anything goes, no-fandom, multifandom, all-fanworks, virtual gift giving free-for-all," based on oxoniensis' famous Fall Fandom Free-for-All. It looks like a lot of fun, and it really sucks that so far, no one's signed up. :-( When a fun idea's fun, how popular you are on the internet shouldn't be the deciding factor in how many people participate. Pass the word on and maybe go make a list, yeah? Yeah!Now I'm off to watch "Make the Yuletide Gay," 'cause it looked fun, and I need something to wash out the bad taste that "New Moon" left in my brain last night. Happy hols, you guys. :-) Current Mood: anxious |
| ngaio | 1:15p | Today So I'm not carrying a stone baby. Which is good. ... OK, so it's not like I was expecting to be told I was carrying a stone baby but it was an ultrasound and I had weird thoughts/dreams last night and then freaked Allegra out in the car. In fact the answer is that my insides are fine and dandy. Which I am happy about. But at the same time it'd be nice if there was something small wrong which could be fixed and solve the problem you know? Or at least give me ammunition for my 'please just remove my womb' argument. There's this t-shirt I want making. When my dept. were out on Thursday I was slapping my boss (Wizard) upside the head every time he got too loud so we didn't get chucked out of the restaurant. And then was sitting with my hands in boxercise guard position threatening to hit him. I forgot that Wizard used to teach martial arts and can kill you with his pinky finger, and he told me my guard position was wrong and corrected it. So I'm there with my right hand in the right place and my left hand in the right place and him going 'and your elbow has to be close in to your side' whereupon I looked down and uttered the immortal words: 'I have topographical issues' ... so now I really want a t-shirt, possibly scoop necked, which says 'topographical issues' on it! Thank you phoebesmum, ruric, and llaras for the snowflakes. I'm now really wanting shortbread but luckily we've not got any in the house so that's OK.It's raining. But the birds have discovered the feeders so I'm happy. Current Mood: awake |
| notalwaysright | 7:56a | The Case Of The Choo-Choo Charlatans (Photography Studio | Pennyslvania, USA) (I work as a photographer at a railroad station where people can dress up in old time clothes and sit in a prop made to look like a train.) Customer: “Excuse me, does the train still function?” Me: “Yes, if you go right outside you can buy tickets for the trains.” Customer: “No, no. I meant that one.” *points to our fake train prop* Me: “That’s just our background for the photos.” Customer: “Yes, but does it still function? Can I ride it?” Me: “Ma’am, it’s a prop. It’s fake.” Customer: “But is it functional?” Me: “No, it’s fake. It’s connected to the wall.” Customer: “Well, that’s just dumb. I don’t know why you have it in here, then!” |
| notalwaysright | 6:26a | Sweaty Confetti (Retail | Colorado, USA) Customer: “I bought one of your bath balls with the confetti in it. It never dissolved and it just left a mess.” (He points to a bath ball with confetti.) Me: “We’ve never had a problem with that ball before, but I’ll keep that in mind. I would be happy to give you one without confetti for free so you can enjoy our products.” Customer: “Oh no, that’s not necessary. I just wanted to tell you guys about it so you can warn other people.” Me: “Thank you, I’ll definitely let everybody know about that.” Customer: “Yeah, you should! I mean, now I have confetti all over my house. On my floor, my carpet, my bed, even my couch and living room!” Me: “Wow, sounds like you had a lot of confetti!” Customer: “I did! It even got lodged in places.” Me: “Lodged in places?” Customer: “Yeah crevices, my crevices! I mean I have to dig it out of places. Anyway, I just came by to warn you guys.” (He starts heading out, and as he reaches the door he turns around.) Customer: “BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR CREVICES, GIRLS!” |
| notalwaysright | 4:56a | The Devil To Pay (Supermarket | Brookline, MA, USA) Me: “Your total is ***.” Customer: “Here is my coupon.” Me: “I’m sorry, this expired last week.” Customer: “What? What do you mean?” Me: “It expired last week.” Customer: “You witch devil! I can’t believe you changed the date!” Me: “What?” Customer: “You can magically alter dates, you devil!” Me: “I don’t think I have that sort of power.” (Upon hearing the commotion, my manager comes over.) Customer, to my manager: “You have a witch devil here! I’m going to have to bring the lord into this!” (The customer pulls out a bobble head Jesus and puts in on my counter.) Customer: “I will return when the date of this coupon is the correct date!” |
| notalwaysright | 4:26a | Take Note Of Change (Grocery Store | Pennsylvania, USA) (A customer is having problems at the self checkout lane.) Customer: “Excuse me, the machine isn’t taking my dollar.” Me: “Miss, there’s a quarter sticking out of the bill slot.” Customer: “Yes, there’s two dimes and a nickel in there too!” Me: “You didn’t think to use the coin slot for those?” Customer: “The what?” |
| joy_of_tech | 12:07a | JoT 1328: Sexting the truth.
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| Sunday, December 6th, 2009 | ||
| why_yer_fat | 12:10p | Chocolate Covered Bacon Maple Donut Bar
(Submitted by Alex...  Chocolate Covered Bacon Maple Donut Bar (Submitted by Alex Brewer) |
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asylum_promo [ plagued_mods ] |
5:35p | Post-war Harry Potter RPG ( PLAGUED RPG - What would you do if you lost your magic? ) |
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